Ever feel like you need a REALLY good cry, but it won't come?  I am so depressed over the latest round of testing to come.  And the (now) 3 month wait again.  I feel like I should be living it up until the next round of bad news comes.  Of course I know it may not be bad, but our brains go there, don't they? 

Matthew 11:28 tells us "'Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.'"  (TEV)  I am tired of carrying the health burden around.  And it affects my family as well.  So, I will need to rely on my faith, and let Jesus carry it for me.

The kids want to by a Christmas present for their father this year.  I told them yes.  Even though we haven't seen or heard from him in a year and a half, I think its O.K.  We keep a "Daddy" box in our house.  It's for them to keep things they want to show him, or keep for him if they get to see him again.  The therapist we see seems to think it's O.K.  My mom opposes.  I kind of want them to so they don't blame me for the way things have worked out.  You know.  When they're in college going to therapy because of all the things I wrecked for them!

My son was born 9 years ago today.  Happy Birthday, M.J.!

Having some O.C. tendencies I am a very practical, frugal (some say cheap) person.  But my one big thrill comes when I open a brand new tube of toothpaste.  No kids around, I just giggle with glee to be able to (just this one time!) squeeze it right in the middle of the tube! Hee hee hee!